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This episode focuses on application—how biblical authority, discipline, correction, and leadership are exercised within marriage.
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Husbands Questions About CDD Answered
One thing that you never actually address is how we should justify spanking “that area” for the first. I can imagine that especially once you hit that particular spot she may think it was accidental at first but the second she’s gonna scream why and how could you especially there. Because I would think that even if you are getting into spanking and trying to get her ready for vaginal spanking that you would kind of start off being intentional but making it as though it was accident that you will not apologize for. I also see that you never encourage husbands to actually tell their wives that this punishment is something she could face. I really don’t picture her squirming I picture her levitating off the bed and rethinking why she got married in the first place at this point. You mention spanking and accepting rough sex but you never mention how we justify the act of hitting her there. How do we bring her back to earth and ground her after such a jarring experience and is that even our responsibility or do let her just writhe in pain. I always read about after care in these situations so do you suggest that we console her after this or do we just allow to be in that moment and convalesce on her own? Should we as men allow our wives to be upset or should we say that she needs let that go and accept that this is a new day. What if she starts to shutter or cringe when we go to to touch her and now she’s submitting out of the sheer fear of pain. I ask this because the we all know this is not just some momentary pain she’s going to feels in her head, heart and body for a few days.
Braxton,
No I would not warn her that you are about to spank her in “that area”. And yes once you do it a second time, she will realize you are doing it on purpose. She may not accept it, she may tell you it is unacceptable. But remember that the Bible says a woman is to learn her morality, what is right and wrong, from her husband’s interpretation and understanding of the Bible (1 Corinthians 14:35). Often in my experience mentoring husbands, they must literally spank their wives more in “that area” to get them to accept being spanked in “that area”. Literally the husband keeps spanking her there until she surrenders and says he as her husband has the right to spank her there.
As far as consoling goes – If the wife repents of her wrong thoughts or actions then yes I am big proponent of a husband holding his wife afterwards. Now there might be some rough sex before that happens.
Typically this is how it goes with many women. The man begins to spank her in “that area” and at first she is very angry about it. This is why I suggest using the binding tools mentioned in this podcast before a man beings spanking his wife there. But soon after he continues doing it, she will break down. What I usually suggest are swats in increments of 5. The husband does 5 swats and then asks his wife if she repents of wrong thoughts or actions, then if she does not repents of her wrong thoughts or actions, if she does not he continues. Usually with this methodology as the husband increases the pain, the vast majority of wives will break eventually.
And yes you need to be prepared that sometimes the wife has not really repented. She may have simply said what she needed to say to get the discipline (and associated pain with that discipline) to stop. In these cases which happen often, you simply need to “rinse and repeat’. Really this concept applies to discipline in general – whatever type you are using. Some women complain and complain even about non-physical discipline hoping that their complaining will wear down their husband’s resolve.
But you must establish your dominance over her. And that means being willing to keep applying discipline until she full accepts – no after complaints whether they be an hour later, a day later or a week later. Complaints about discipline cannot be tolerated.
And over time, your wife will learn that her area “there” is truly a multi functional area that God has created in woman. It is given to her to give her husband pleasure, to bear children and also as tool for punishment.
Larry