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This episode goes beyond foundational teaching and addresses practice—how biblical submission, obedience, reverence, correction, and marital intimacy are lived out in marriage.
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Thank you for this wonderful series. You have given a voice to my inner most desires that I haven’t found elsewhere.. I truly believe God created women to serve men. For me the thought of pleasing my future husband and existing to do so it what gives me pleasure. I do long for affection and bonding that He gives me because I have pleased him but I also long to be used and dominated however and whenever as an object of his gratification as God intended. His satisfaction is my goal. His satisfaction is my purpose.
Amen Theresa. It is rare for a woman to be naturally in-tuned to God’s design for sex as you are and that is wonderful. Many women will pray “God use me” yet when their husbands attempt to use them for their sexual pleasure as God commands husbands to do in Proverbs 5:19, these same women will say “I feel so used” in a very negative way. It is sad that most women see being used for their husband’s sexual pleasure in such a negative light when they should see it as bringing glory to their husbands and thus glory to God as 1 Corinthians 11:7-9 states is the meaning for woman’s existence.
Why do we as women want to be married if we find sex gross ! ? I would think we would just choose not to.
Melissa,
We as both men and women must follow God’s design. If God has given you the gift of celibacy “that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction” (1 Cor 7:7 & 35) then you should not marry. But the celibate life is not meant for selfish living, but instead it is meant for one dedicate themselves in service to God. Most women do not find sex gross, while at the same time most women are not as physically oriented as men. If you find sex gross, you are a rare woman. Most women who have the gift of celibacy do not find sex gross, but rather they simply don’t have a strong desire for sex or having children but instead have a strong desire to serve God in an undistracted manner.
You need to pray and ask God to search your heart. Has he given you the gift of celibacy for service to him? Perhaps. But women only have two choices in this life – serve God in celibacy or marry, bear children and ravish their husbands in bed (cultivate a desire for something you might not be as excited about).
Is it wrong or selfish for a wife to desire to enjoy sex with her husband, or should the sole focus of both to ensure he is satisfied?
It is not wrong for a wife to desire to enjoy sex with her husband, but she must remember that primary focus is – yes – to ensure that he is satisfied. Remember the the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 11:9 “Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man” and in Proverbs 5:19 it says “Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love”. Practically speaking this means the penis was not made for the vagina, but the vagina for the penis. Man was not made to bring pleasure to woman, but woman was made to bring pleasure to man. Proverbs 5:19 does not say “let his penis satisfy her at all times” but rather it says “let her breasts satisfy thee(him) at all times”. The Bible does not say “let her be ravished always with his love” but rather it says “let him be ravished always with her love”.
Now there is no sin in a woman desiring to enjoy sex with her husband and God certainly has given women the ability to enjoy sex (i.e. – the clitoris and other erogenous zones women have). And I absolutely think men should focus on doing what pleases their wives from time to time. I even encourage this in my coaching with men. However, no man or woman should ever get the idea that sex is an egalitarian exercise – that both the man and woman should have equal sexual pleasure each and every time they have sex. The primary purpose of sexual pleasure is for man,not for woman and a godly Christian woman must consider the sexual pleasure she receives to be a bonus – not something she can demand or is owed or something she gets upset about.
Thank you for your response. This area is of struggle as I’m always worried that my own desires are selfish and asking for anything extra to help me is wrong.
So much to think about and take on board in this series. Thank you so much!
I am 22 years old. I got married to my wonderful husband when i was 20 and he was 25. I am grateful to find your insightful youtube channel and think your videos are beautiful and not oppressive. I am trying to simply be the best wife i can be for him. On judgement day i want to hear “well done” knowing that I did what I can to please Him ✝️ here on earth and lived as a living sacrifice as the Bible says and that goes into my marriage as well. My first year of marriage was rough but thats because I didn’t realize how many feminist thought patterns i had that was corrupting our relationship through my pride. I want to demolish all those ideologies and be humble and respectful to my husband. I dont think he would ever think it is okay to physically punish me even though i surely deserve it sometimes. But im trying to get my heart in the right place instead so i can serve him instead of taking advantage of his kindness
Thank you for you beautiful testimony.