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This episode goes beyond foundational teaching and addresses practice—how biblical submission, obedience, reverence, correction, and marital intimacy are lived out in marriage.
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In 1 Peter 3:4, it says women should adorn themselves with a quiet and gentle spirit. I know you focus mainly on sexual submission in your blog, but can you address this?
I pray for a quiet and gentle spirit in the morning and by evening I’m the opposite. Maybe I’m expecting a gentle and quiet spirit to look like something different. What does it look like in a wife…in a woman generally? I’d love examples.
(As an aside, can I just say that I can’t tell the difference between men and women at church and in fellowship groups. Yes, men are technically in position of leadership (except the women who lead women’s groups). If anything, women are more opinionated, loud, and assertive than the men. What I’m trying to say is 1 Peter 3:4 is confusing to me because I don’t think I’ve ever really seen it. I hate this girlboss culture.)
Thanks BGR
Helena,
A woman with a quiet and meek spirit is one who knows when to speak and when simply to listen. The Greek word ‘Praus’ translated in English as ‘meekness’ means ‘mildness of disposition, gentleness of spirit’. God wants women to have a quietness and gentleness about their dispositions. A woman who is always opinionated aggressive and assertive with men or even with other women is not acting in feminine way. Is there a place for women to have tough discussions with other women about difficult matters in life? Yes. But a woman’s comfort area should be found in having that quiet and meek spirit.
Again I am not saying women can’t talk. Women need to talk. Mostly to other women. Titus 2:3-5 shows that women should be teaching other women how to be godly wives and mothers. And women need to talk to one another about their struggles with children and keeping the home. But especially in the presence of men, women should should not be blabber mouths or use their husbands for emotional dumping zones.
As far as the church goes – yes the vast majority of our churches do not teach women about being quiet and meek, especially in the presence of their husbands and other men. Women of ages past would have been ashamed to be opinionated and asserted with a group of men – today there is no shame in women anymore.
Larry, I can intellectually understand what you’re saying in this series but knowing, understanding, and, believing doesn’t make it any easier for me to practice reverence. I’m a tough nut to crack because of my prideful, stubborn, and, easy to anger attitude when things go wrong. An example of what I’m talking about; I have a temporary dental bridge on for 2 weeks and my it cracked last night after eating a piece of the brick oven pizza he brought home, I got upset (once again with my husband…any tips on how I can fight my own rebellion would be appreciated.
Brenda,
While it is harder for women to control their actions based on their emotions then it is for men, it is possible for women to control their outbursts. It starts with you “bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” as 2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us as both men and women to do. If you capture the thought – then the words that would follow the thought will never leave your mouth.
All of us struggle with bad moods and bad thoughts but some more than others. The principle is the same though – we must wage that war in our mind, so it does not come crashing out into our marriages or relationships with others.
You need to be in prayer each day, asking the Holy Spirit to empower you. We can’t beat our flesh(our sin nature) on our own – we must constantly be reaching to the Lord asking him for his strength. And his strength is made perfect in our weakness.
Larry,
Thank you for your response to my questions about my disobedience in reverencing my husband. I am turning a corner here as I continue to listen to your biblical teachings on understanding that I was created for him, he was not created for me. This is such an epiphany for me to internalize reverence for my husband and all that it entails in understanding my role as his wife. A side note… Also, since accepting my husband’s full sexual nature in a real and supportive way, I have noticed that he truly seems so much happier. He even came home with Valentine’s Day candy for other women in our neighborhood for me to give them, I guess as a way for me to become humbled. I willing did it, I believe that he was testing my patience and not trying to come on to the neighbors. Having outburst should be a thing of the past… Thank you so very much!
What a great testimony. It is such a blessing to me to hear of how God is using his Word presented through this ministry to change hearts and lives for his glory.
This is one of my favorite BGR podcasts and I listen to it often when I feel like I need a relationship refresher! I would like to suggest one more method wives can use to reverence their husband: foot massage. While it’s not strictly biblical, I think it comes close given the tradition of foot washing and anointing. It makes my husband feel like a king and puts me in a humble and loving mood towards him. It’s also a bonus that feet are one of the easiest places to massage since there are so many nerve endings in a small space. 😀